Welcome Wednesdays – Funny Business

Welcome Wednesdays – Funny Business

Welcome to this week’s edition of Welcome Wednesdays!

Today we’re talking about humor.  Authors, I want you to share sometihng funny from one of your books.  A joke, a humorous description, or even a funny story ABOUT the book – something that happened at a book signing or a really funny reader reaction to one of your books.  It can be anything you like, as long as it’s funny.  And be sure to include a link tso we can learn more about the book, and about you!

I’ll begin…

 

This is from book seven of the Dream Series, DREAM HOME.  It’s a joke between Sara and her brother…

“You saw the lights flicker.”  He nods, still unsure where I’m going with this.  “I want you to look at the emergency generator.  I want us to be prepared, if we need it.”

“I’m a doc…”

I cut him off with a shake of my head.  “Bob, that stupid ‘Star Trek’ joke wasn’t ever funny.  You do know that, right?”

“Dad always laughs,” he says, giving me a heavy sigh.  Yes, Dad always does laugh when Bob starts to quote Dr. McCoy, then slaps his hand to his head, turns to me and says, “Oh, right, I’m not the doctor, you are!”  But Dad’s sense of humor was always a little bit off, too.

DreamHomeV1

And now it’s your turn!

(when you’re done here, please stop by Exquisite Quills, where there are daily memes just like this one and plenty of fantastic authors you can discover!)

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6 Replies to “Welcome Wednesdays – Funny Business”

  1. I was twenty-four the first time I . . . destroyed? dispatched? . . . a vampire. That’s when I found out that all the books and movies are wrong. When you stick a wooden stake into their hearts, vampires don’t disintegrate into dust. They don’t explode. They don’t spew blood everywhere. They just look surprised, groan, and collapse into a pile of corpse. But at least they lie still then, like corpses are supposed to.

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  2. Catherine Banks from Never Marry A Warlock:

    “There’s one thing to know about Vegas. The undead are everywhere if you know where to look. I’m currently hanging out here with my friend Cass, and to make a long story short, Beware of Vampires. They might seem nice at first, but can get messy if you get involved with a relationship. Point in question:

    When I was in college I once dated a vampire. This was before I married my ex-husband Rich. We went out and before he dropped me off, he wanted to give me a kiss good night. Well, he was hot, as most vampires are. So, I let him lean down to kiss me, and he put me into a thrall. Before I knew it, I was being fed on and dragged into my house. Not an easy thing to do to a witch. He was one strong bastard. But one thing I knew I could do, was starve him for what he wanted. I cast a spell to freeze my blood inside him. I’ll never forget the look on his face when my blood in him froze solid.

    Vampires also get really horny while feeding. So, you can guess what happened to his second head. It was the most intense blue balls I’d ever seen. That was the last vampire I dated.”

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  3. “Do you really think Charles knew what you meant by taking matters into your own hands?” she asked Geoffrey as he stood next to her in the corner of Lady Cair’s ballroom.

    Her companion’s reply was to ask a question of his own. “Did Charles suffer a head injury as a child that I am unaware of?”

    She shook her head.

    “Do you believe my brother to be afflicted with a lack of intelligence?” When she again shook her head, his crooked smile teased her. “Of course Charles understood me.”

    The Marquess’s Christmas LIly currently 99 cents or FREE on KIndle Unlimited.

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  4. My hero and heroine barely know each other and are playing softball on opposite teams. Alex is the heroe’s daughter.

    Thwack! The ball hung in the air when her bat connected. Racing toward first base, she prayed the ball would pass the second baseman. High pitched screams of “Go! Go! Go!” echoed in her head as she prayed. Alex had made it to third and was on her way to home.
    Rounding first base, she glanced toward the yells of “Get her!” The second baseman’s throw overshot third base sending Jesse chasing after the ball. Alex headed for home. Shouts of “Al-ex, Al-ex, Al-ex.” were followed by “Ya-hoo!”
    Seeing Jaycee headed for third base, Lily prayed he wouldn’t try to outrun her. He did but tripped on a loose shoe string, nose-diving to the ground. He recovered in time to see his daughter leaving for home and tossed the ball.
    “Yay!” Lily quivered as she tried to stay put on second base, watching Jaycee head for home and her third score of the game. She jumped high with the shout of “Safe” that sent the GUYS grumbling.
    “Please, don’t let that man tag me out,” she begged. The batter at the plate wasn’t a particularly strong hitter. Adrenaline raced through Lily’s veins, while she anticipated her move toward third base and Jesse. When he turned to look at her, paralysis hovered. Reality jarred her to action when she heard the thwack of a hit. “No-o-o!” The ball was headed across her path. There was no turning back as Jesse snatched the ball and turned to tag her.
    Jesse was on automatic as he grabbed up the ball and turned to tag the runner moving his way. For one long, split-second he hesitated. Bouncing breasts held his attention. Where could he touch her? His breath caught for a second before he realized she’d passed him. Damn! Home, he had to throw her out at home.

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  5. “They’re twins and you named them Billy and Willy?” Carter
    asked. Brenda then shot him a look. His follow up question earned
    him an elbow to the ribs. “Isn’t that the same name?”
    “No,” said Carl. “One is Billy and the other is Willy.”
    “Yeah, but they’re both a nickname for William,” Carter said.

    Brenda’s look evolved into a laser. She could not believe Carter
    was having this conversation, but he just wanted to know the
    reason they named their twins virtually the same thing.

    “We don’t look at it like that,” said Wendy. “We look at it like
    Billy and Willy are two different names, and you’re actually the
    only one to challenge us on it.” She laughed a short laugh.

    “Those names are adorable,” Brenda said. “Just look at them
    playing Patty Cake.”

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  6. From Alien Contact for Kid Sisters:

    Quinn pounced around the corner while the pouncing was good. The intruder was turned away, so he caught the guy by surprise. Just like a real hero, Quinn grabbed him around the chest, trapping his arms, and put the knife to his throat.

    Uh, no. Not his throat. Her throat.

    It was a girl, maybe ten or eleven, with straight, black Kwadran hair that fell to her waist. She smelled of shampoo. He hoped Marianne couldn’t see him holding a knife on a little kid wearing pajamas and a robe with Hello Kitty appliqués.

    AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Alien-Contact-Sisters-Idiots-Book-ebook/dp/B00X1O3W48/

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